That Thing I Never Knew I Needed To Know

Well, actually two things. I did not know that this week leading up to Halloween has been called Evil Week. Evil Week? I’d never heard of that. Maybe it’s because Halloween isn’t one of my favorite holidays. I know some people get really into it, but I never really have. Sure, when I was a kid Halloween seemed like a lot more fun, but now as a grownup, Halloween has less appeal. Costume parties just never raised the thrill meter all that much for me. Perhaps my imagination is limited, but I never liked any costume I wore to a Halloween party. The day was meant to be endured, not necessarily enjoyed, for me.

So, yes, Evil Week. The good folks at Lifehacker are writing a series of articles of things under the theme of Evil Week. The article I found from yesterday surprised me for some reason. A lengthy piece on something that I didn’t know I needed to know. That thing?

How To Fart In Public And Get Away With It.

Yes, farting (or in more polite company, flatulence) is common among all of us. But I guess there had to be an article (under the theme Evil Week), to tell us how to let those silent assassins or those loud and proud butt shouters off and not have to be blamed for them. I’m not going to get into the details, but yes I did read the article and the tips do make senseβ€”but maybe we should try to avoid doing the practice in the first place in public.

But I suppose, if you can’t help it, if you can’t hold back, it’s good to know how to carry it off so that you aren’t seen as the guilty culprit. I know a few people who wear their ability to break wind around others as a badge of honor, and don’t mind letting you know that they did it. I’m not one of those people. So maybe the article was written for people like me in mind, assuming the first type I just described cares not about “getting away with it.”

Anyway, that’s over three hundred words written about flatulence in public. If you’re interested, give the article a glance-and if you have a story, or a reaction to the article or the practice, leave it in the comments. Just don’t make it too smelly-I think I’ll know who did it.

15 Replies to “That Thing I Never Knew I Needed To Know”

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