I’ve seen a lot of blogs and bloggers talking about love this month. And why not…this is the month of love, right? But love covers many things, not just romance, the moon and June and swoons. Love for your fellow man or woman. Love for those that need it most. Love for our families. Love for that person you have an interest in, or are sharing or planning to share the rest of your life with.
In today’s climate, I worry about love. Sometimes I think love is on life support. With so much hate in the world, I wonder if anyone pays any attention to love. When all you hear is bad, and all you feel is sad, how is it possible to have any hope for love?
For a good while in my life, I didn’t really have any hope for love. I used to think that love was for other people, not for me. That love passed me by, and wasn’t coming around again. But I did some thinking, and I realized that I have had love in my life all along. I just didn’t always see it.
I didn’t always have love for myself. I would be self-critical, minimizing my gifts and talents, my accomplishments, and even me. Accepting compliments from others was always difficult—I even tried to minimize those also. But now I know and it took me time to acknowledge—those actions were not those of a person who loved themselves. And I always believed that to love someone else, as I hoped to do someday, I had to love myself first. To be kind to myself; because if I don’t love me, why should anyone else?
I also now know that I am loved by others. I may not be in a relationship right now, but I know people who love me, for me, just as I am. Which isn’t to say that I’m some kind of marvel of perfection; I strive to get better each and every day. But even with my flaws, there are people who love me. And I am glad that I know this.
I was often envious of others in relationships; I thought, what do they have that I don’t? I was often told to “put myself out there,” only to find that when I did, nothing really good came of it. When you experience rejection time after time, after a while you just don’t want to play the game anymore. But then again, I came to another realization—that I cannot compare myself to others. I am learning day by day to be content with whatever circumstance I may be in.
I realize now that I am loved, and am worthy of love. I love me and I know I have experienced love before. I know what it’s like. So because of all of this, I am hopeful that love will come again. Like it has before, usually when I least expect it with someone I probably would never have guessed would think of loving me.
That’s me today, thinking about love. Being hopeful.