So today is the big day. The big 5-0. Time to sign up for AARP. Well, maybe not the last one just yet.
When I was sixteen, I couldn’t imagine seeing a day when I would turn fifty years old. When I was sixteen, I looked at the year 2000 thinking, “Hmph. I’ll be 34 then. That will be OLD.” I was sixteen, after all. Anything over twenty-nine was probably looked at as old by me then. I shudder to think what my sixteen-year-old self would think of me now, at 50.
What I would tell myself at sixteen is that at 50, life is good. Life is getting better. There was a rough patch in the mid-40s—the breakup of my marriage, the resulting loss of a sense of purpose for a time, the finances being very bad. The days where you didn’t want to face anyone, or deal with anything. The sadness, overwhelming sadness. But I got beyond just about all of that. With the help of my friends, my blogging friends, and family, I have steadily climbed back up. I may not be at the top, but I’m gladly not where I have been.
What I have now, is a sense of hope, a sense of calm. While things aren’t perfect (are they ever), I feel change is coming. It won’t happen overnight; it almost never does. But things appear to be getting better each day. Are there bad days and disappointments? Absolutely. But they don’t crush me as they might have a few years ago. I know that because I have gotten this far, I can keep going on, with hope for things to get better, and for dreams to keep coming true.
Since I am thinking about that time when I was sixteen, when I couldn’t see what I would be at 50, I chose Brian Culbertson’s “Back In The Day” as the Morning Groove. Culbertson is one of my favorite smooth jazz artists out today; he’s been in the game now for over twenty years and has yet to have a release that disappoints me. One of his songs will also feature this week on #RomanticTuesday, so stay tuned.
Enjoy the Morning Groove for today. As always, thanks for reading and listening.
~Happy Birthday To Me!!!~ #50isthenew35